Last year I went to the ER complaining of a pain in my abdomen, not knowing that I had a kidney stone. The male doctor told me that it must be period cramps, seeing high amount of blood in my urine, despite me having repeatedly stated that I was not on my period and was in deeper pain. He simply did not care to listen.
Communication is the most valuable capability humans possess. The process of communication has two members, the communicator who sends a message and the receiver who listens to the message. Throughout time, communication has advanced tremendously, yet we still fail to communicate efficiently; this is the biggest problem women in Turkey face. Whenever the messenger is a woman, the receiver fails to genuinely listen -without ambiguity and prejudice. We have a history of discrimination and our reluctance to challenge the status quo only further develops systemic sexism which privileges men and establishes a patriarchy where women are not really being listened to. What the over used phrase, “women are not being heard” actually implies is that the receiver does not do the receiving. The failure of conducive communication, caused by systematic sexism, results in the disruption of women’s rights in Turkey. Systematic sexism is a communal problem; it is the flaw of a culture built upon years of discrimination. The sexism deeply rooted in our society labels women as inferior. As a result, often unintentionally, women’s voices are overlooked and condemned. Because women are not listened to, their fundamental rights and their needs are not recognized. The voice of women trying to fight gender inequality, however loud it may be, is disregarded.
In the first nine months of 2019, 354 women were murdered in Turkey. More than 80% of these women were murdered by their ex/current husbands/boyfriends. Nine of these women asked for a divorce before and many more voiced that they felt in danger. These forthright messages were not received with necessary attention. It is not easy for Turkish citizens to realize that they simply do not listen to women because the act has become innate. However, with ample examples in a country where the president likens abortion to a murderous air strike and where the current president’s predecessor married his wife when she was only 15, it is evident that women’s voices are being neglected.
In Turkey, I witnessed women’s proclamations for help and change go unheard by men of power. My aunt, a victim of domestic violence, moved after she finally got divorced. A man came up to her door and seeing a woman open the door, shouted: “Call your man!”. Although my aunt repeatedly stated that it was her house and she did not belong to any men, he did not listen. Soon, my aunt found herself in court and the male judge told her to negotiate with the abusive neighbor, not listening to how even trying to compromise with such a man was unsafe. Such experiences showcase that words from women’s mouths go unnoticed because the patriarchy reminds men they are more knowledgeable and that women, ‘naïve’ and ‘uneducated’, have nothing to say that they
have not heard of already. After such incidents, women are also held back from speaking their minds, fearing shame and negligence.
Providing equal opportunities in the workplace for men and women ensures women will gain the medium to express themselves. But to talk about the workplace we should first focus on education. There are countless news of rape in college buildings in Turkey. There is not only pre-determined gender roles that keep women away from higher degrees of education but also the safety risks it brings along. First the judicial system should undergo a reform (including hiring more female judges) to lower the probability of rape, assault and harassment. In addition systemic sexism should be eliminated to withhold men from thinking they have such rights over a women’s body. With annihilating systemic sexism a nation will give women the medium to ‘talk’. The principal ways to eradicate hundreds of years of a sexist society is to rewrite Ottoman/Turkish history with more focus on female artists, scientists, and politicians and to remove colloquial sexist phrases from the Turkish language. In conclusion, measures should be taken to help raise the voice of girls and women in Turkey. Only with the deconstruction of patriarchy can women be ‘heard’. Communication has evolved throughout time but our ideas of gender have to catch up with those advancements so that women are no longer silenced.
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